March 21,2020
PHONE CALLS TO A BUS DRIVER'S MOTHER.

 MY SON LEE KEEPING WAS A VANCOUVER BUS DRIVER AND USED TO PHONE ME AND TELL ME STRANGE THINGS THAT OCCURRED IN HIS DAY. SO ON ONE OCCASION I DECIDED  TO PUT THE PHONE ON SPEAKER AND TYPE AS HE SPOKE THEN I WOULD SURPRISE HIM WITH A BOOK. SADLY HE DIED AT FIFY-NINE AFTER I HAD RECORDED ONLY THREE TALES. 

 

PHONE CALLS TO A BUS DRIVER'S MOTHER.              M              

“Hello?

           “Hello Mother, I just had to call and tell you what happened on my bus this morning.”

           “Oh that’s nice dear.”

                  “Well not so nice – you see at 8:15 this morning I was driving down Cambie Street near Queen Elizabeth Park, when I stopped for passengers. A heavily clad man

got on my bus. He was normal size but looked so bulky. He was wearing a trench coat, gloves, a hat with the brim pulled down low on his face, welding goggles and a black dentist’s mask over his mouth. He was carrying a hockey stick upside down with a goalie’s mask hanging by a rope from the stick.”

                  The man clanged around behind my seat as he propped up his stick and then he stood there in the aisle right behind me.

                  He took off his gloves and then put them back on and removed his trench coat and hung it over the bar. He removed his gloves again and then put them back on – four times! Next he removed his sports jacket and hung it over the bar.   He took off his hat, goggles, dentist’s mask and placed them along the seat.

                  These were followed by the removal of his golf jacket, sweater, shirt and tie. Clad in his slacks and undershirt he hung up the rest of his clothes. And I decided I’m going to have a Full Monte here! If the undershirt comes off I will put him off the bus.

           Meanwhile I’m trying to drive a bus – that looks like someone’s sloppy bedroom – down Cambie street while I am shaking with laughter. In the midst of the morning rush hour I was trying to drive and yet make sure this passenger wasn’t going to go too far. I slowed down and checked the hilarious faces of the passengers, all of whom were totally silent, the proverbial pin could have been heard while they tried to stifle laughter and curiosity.

                  I glanced back in my mirrors frequently and saw the gloves going back on and off and decided my bus looked like a drycleaner’s establishment and then he began to make very strange noises, which******h I determined were coughs and sneezes.

                  Then suddenly, the clothes and accessories went back on and I thought, maybe when he is fully dressed and masked, he will attack my passengers – or me!

                       At the corner of * * and * * he left my bus. I was so relieved I stood up, turned to my passengers and said, “I’ve been driving passengers around in my busses for nine and a half years but this one takes the cake!”

                  That opened the floodgates and forty people began to give me their impressions and plans. One man said “My adrenalin was really pumping and I knew exactly what I’d do Another said, “I was waiting for the first bare skin and then . . . if . . . ”


Posted by Charlotte Madison at 07:36
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For over forty years, painting related totally to the American Southwest. It was people of the dry hot desert, solid mesas, cacti, stone and canyons that made my heart leap.

When I realized I would never see the desert again, I began a search for something to paint. Nana suggested, B.C, vineyards and took me to Penticton where I did one painting. Nana and Gary then began to take me on Mystery tours of the island and always included a vineyard. But they all were so green! So many leaves so many trees - I don't do trees and I rarely use green - dont really like looking at green, but I got started on a duty series not an inspired series.

I guess it was July or early August when we were driving home from a winery visit. I was grousing about painting the Festive Flying Grape series when Gary said "Start another series, you can work on more than one at a time."

For some reason those words triggered the words "I could paint the Island artists!" Nana and Gary agreed and it was the topic of conversation all the way home

For a while I was afraid I wouldn't get volunteers to pose but it is rolling and each one offers something special to inspire me. And it is lovely to feel all I am doing was sparked by Gary and like all I do, supported by Nana.

April Update 2012 Sixteen fine artists, many of national repute, have posed for Artists of Vancouver Island and many are booked or promised. There will be no poses after June 30,2012. When I have painted all twenty-five I will turn my thought to . . . what next?